Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
