I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
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