it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
