mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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