I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
