yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
