My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
