My nipple is on Facebook.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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