I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Randomize
