That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
