i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
