i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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