Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize