She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Randomize
