Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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