This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Floor bacon is actually really good
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
