I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
