if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
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