I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
the day after is always just damage control
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize