Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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