yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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