Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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