dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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