I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
