Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
