So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
