It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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