My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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