After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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