I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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