She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
