My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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