If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Sorry about my life...
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
