he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
