You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
