is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize