I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Holy shit dude........stairs
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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