Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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