I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
A+ Viking dick
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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