doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
