why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
