I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
