last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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