you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
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Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
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I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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