this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You left your underwear on the fireplace
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Randomize
