it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
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puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
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Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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