everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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