I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
