my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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