Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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