hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
