Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
