My pussy is not your playground.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
