you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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