paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
