I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
