Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
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