he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
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You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
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I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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